Sideways

The weathered cabin sat vacant on the edge of the meadow. Behind it, evergreen trees sprung up, first here and there, eventually piling up into a dense forest fifty yards in the distance.  A small, dry creek bed crackled under her feet as she approached the sagging porch of the abandoned shack.  All indications of life had long disappeared from this place and she understood that the family would not be returning.  She heard the children's laughter echo off the cavern walls, high above her, and float into the vast emptiness overhead.  She heard his axe, slamming into the chopping block, and caught sight of her former self sprawled in the wild grasses and flowers, nose buried in a book.

Step by step, she cautiously climbed the stairs of the porch she once knew so well.  The boards creaked and groaned beneath the soles of her soft leather shoes, but none gave way.  The porch enveloped the home, wrapping all the way around, white paint long ago peeled away and battered by the seasons. She stood in the corner where the two chairs had lived, not quite facing one another. Her father's steady breathing still whispered in her ears. Setting her shoulder bag where his old boots had piled up each evening, she dropped to her knees and ran her hand along the boards in the space she felt his presence, still lingering. It was here, in this spot, where the unease washed over her and she knew, deep in her bones, he was not yet gone. As his presence overwhelmed her, Annie gave in to her emotions, letting the waves of sorrow wash over her, sweeping her effortlessly out to sea.

Twenty seven years had passed since they left this place and somehow she found herself standing on the edge of this former safety net, wondering how it all went so sideways. Deep pangs of regret cut through her. Yet, she climbed to her feet and debated moving onward. The hearth beckoned her and filled her with an unnerving sense of dread.  Approaching he door, Annie's eyes darted back and forth across the porch and into the darkened doorway.  The ghosts which lingered there knew the stories, the laughter and the tears, the joy and the sorrow. They knew all the secrets. They murmured to one another of the events which unfolded under the roof, the night that her life forever changed.

Annie shivered, rubbed her wrist with her left hand and dropped her head. With a deep breath and barely an ounce of resolve, she placed one foot in front of the other and approached the door. The voice in the back of her head shouted for her to stop, to turn around, get in her car and go home. She pressed onward, driven by an unseen force. It shoved her toward her past, stumbling toward the open entryway, toward the inevitable collapse of the walls she'd built around her to protect her from this exact collision.